Random

10 Thoughts on Tinder


urlA friend of mine told me about Tinder a couple of weeks ago when it had just taken off. She explained that it takes the fear of rejection out of online dating, which to me, is part of the whole experience. I wasn’t quite sure what to do with this Tinder thing, or what I thought of it, but nevertheless I downloaded it and took it for a spin.

I was with a couple of my girlfriends at the time, and they had downloaded it too just to see what all the hype was about. Like a bunch of idiots we all sat there, Tindering away at our iPhone’s Xing guy after guy and hoping a match would pop up for the guys we did like. I remember seeing the guy I liked at the time pop up, and I X’d him by accident. I was so mad, because there was no way to get him back.

One friend of mine explained that a system like Tinder has been out for months already, but  for gay men, and it is called “Grinder,” where men would sign on and find lovers in their area, meet, have sex and let bygones be bygones. I suppose relationships can always develop but from what I’ve been told Grinder was predominantly for satisfying sexual needs.

Soon after downloading it,  I had exhausted every option in my neighborhood, or so that’s what Tinder told me when they had no more matches for me. I gave up on Tinder and deactivated.

Sure enough, two weeks later, Tinder sent me an e-mail. They wanted me back… they always do. Tinder tried to tell me that they had a new operating system and would like me to try it. So, I did.

Either way, I’m still not used to this Tinder thing, but I have found that there are 5 things good about Tinder, and 5 things that I’ve noticed aren’t so good and I’m going to share them with you.

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5 GOOD Tinder Things:

1. Great Baby Names – I’m not pregnant, but if I was and needed a name for a baby, who needs a baby dictionary when you have Tinder? 

2. Makes For Fun Taxi Rides –  The last couple of times I’ve gone out, I’ve either played a great new game “Flow Free” and it does not have to do with menstruating, so download it; or I’ve been flipping through dudes on Tinder! Fun witty banter with a stranger isn’t so bad, when you’ve hand-picked him yourself.

3. Easy Online (Dating) Shopping – Tinder is basically online shopping at it’s finest. You sign on, it’s free, you find a guy you like solely by looks, and you put him in your basket. If he picked you too, well then, it’s basically like winning a complimentary turkey at the grocery store during Thanksgiving.

4. Suspense – The suspense you feel when you’re waiting to see if this super hot guy liked you back is critical to the whole Tinder game. The second you get that match, you get a rush of dopamine, and people wonder why Tinder can feel addicting!

5. Skip the Awkward Online Dating Profile – Online dating is probably 98% based upon physical appearance anyway, so Tinder allows you to skip over the awkward dating profile and get straight to the point. You’re either interested in the person or you’re not.

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5 BAD Tinder Things

1. You Can’t Un-Do A No – Maybe I’m super picky, but I sit on Tinder and swipe left more often than swipe right, if know what I mean. If you don’t, you’re not in the Tinder club, and in that case, Just Blau Me. I get so wrapped up in swiping left that sometimes I accidentally swipe someone I didn’t mean to and it’s very upsetting because you can’t get them back. I even X’d the guy I liked by accident, and then found an ex boyfriend on it, and X’d him by accident too, boy would I have loved to mess with him, or at least take a screen shot of his face and send it to him. “Find any twats on Tinder?”

2. Check The Age! – I can’t tell you how many times I’m about to swipe right and then I see the age. I was Tindering away, (I love that I made it a verb) and I swiped some guy and after we were “matched” I realized he was 19. Sure, I’ve played my part of Mrs. Robinson, but 19 is just not kosher anymore.

3. The Matching Stalemate – That awkward moment when you and someone else liked each other but no one makes the first move to say anything. If you’re not going to chat, don’t Tinder.

4. Couples Profile Pics – I love when I find people on Tinder who don’t realize that their profile pic from Facebook is now their Tinder picture and it’s clearly a photo of them with a girlfriend. You idiot. Or, wait even better,  that moment when you realize all the guys and girls that you know are changing their profile pictures so that it’s more appealing on Tinder. Guilty.

5. It’s Downright Creepy – Sure you can see who you have in common on Facebook, but you have no idea who these strangers are and you’re forced into an immediate conversation without knowing anything about them. At least on an online dating site you have a profile to look at and understand what that person may or may not be interested in. Either way. Tinder is weird.

More importantly it makes me wonder, what are we Tindering for in the first place? Are people using Tinder as a way to meet others, have casual sex, make friends? It’s mission isn’t quite clear and thus I don’t think it’s users are quite sure what to do with it.

Thought I’d share my thoughts, don’t like them? Just Blau Me.

12 replies »

  1. I’d suggest you check out coffeemeetsbagel.com–it’s like a more relaxed version of Tinder, but it’s based on compatibility and mutual FB friends (less scary than you’d think) rather than location. And you only get one match a day. I haven’t used many dating apps, but CMB definitely delivered the best matches, and I think it’s the most interesting dating app around. Less Grindr, more match.com, but for the younger crowd.

  2. Brilliant synopsis! Related to everything you said! I wound up here trying to figure out if I could undo a left swipe. THAT’S the downfall. Soooo many left swipes, that when you actually find someone worthwhile your thumb just acts before you can think. Sigh. And yes, the girlfriend pics are hilarious. Men are so doofy sometimes. I kind of wanted to see what the women were like…I may make a new profile as a man, just to see the competition :)

  3. Stumbled across your blog when googling how to deactivate a tinder account, would you be able to share with me how you did it please? I’m sick of my friends messaging me on Facebook saying they’ve seen me on it – it’s embarrassing lol x

  4. You’re dead-on with your last sentence. People really have no clue why they’re using Tinder. I thought Tinder was the straight version of Grindr and it was all about getting laid. Then i start using it and some women have Bible verses in their profile description or pics with their kids. I try to ignore this strange behavior on an app meant for one night stands. I start chatting up ladies and out of, say, a hundred girls, maybe two are down to do anything. I’m not quite sure where the confusion lies in this app. You are liking someone based only on their looks. It may be a creepy idea for an app, but anyone single under 30 with an iphone probably uses this. Again, Tinder was meant to be a straight person’s Grindr, not Christian Mingle or eharmony.

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