Relationships & Dating

Are You Stuck In The In-Between?


Out of all the douche bags I’ve met, which unfortunately is way too many to count, there have been a couple good ones. Hindsight may be 20/20, and I probably should have kept the few good ones, because they were truly great; I just didn’t like them… for me. I tried explaining to a friend of mine the other day, you can’t like everyone that likes you, but what you can do is explain nicely that it simply isn’t the right time, you’re better as friends, you’re not looking for the same thing, or you can be extra honest and tell them the true reason why you’re not interested in them anymore.

Either way, the truth is, if we had to like and date every guy or girl that ever liked us, we’d be serial daters and I doubt anyone has the time to do that. So, when and if you do find someone that you like, you’re comfortable with, enjoy being around and appreciate, most importantly appreciates you, make sure you treat them the way you wish to be treated.  When it comes to the other people that like you, be your classy nice self and just be a friend. Most importantly be honest, because I know I’d rather have a guy tell me from the beginning he isn’t into me rather than waste my time. Just do it nicely, don’t be a dick, or a bitch for that matter.

After thinking about this, I began to think about what happens when you find someone that you like, you’re comfortable with and thoroughly enjoy being around, they appreciate you and you appreciate them but you’re not looking for the same thing? Or maybe the time just isn’t right? Then I realized, it’s when you’re in this situation, that you’re caught in what we’ve all been caught in at some point or another, the In-between. In-between what you want and what you can have.

Is it when we’re stuck in the in-between that we have to hope and keep all fingers, toes and hairs crossed that somewhere along the road in the future you bump into the same person again? When the time is better? Believe in happy endings? Or, do you take a chance, go with your gut and make a decision that may seem like a mistake yet may just simply be a chance worth taking? The in-between is not easy, in fact, all the times that I’ve ever been in the in-between someone’s feelings have gotten hurt. So, I wonder, when, if ever, will I find what is really on the other side, and not just what’s in-between?

3 replies »

  1. Wow, definitely one of your more introspective posts. I think in situations where a good friend likes you, and they express an interest in being more than friends but you don't hold them in the same regard, then you are right to say just be honest and handle the situation as you would want it to be handled.But in situations where feelings are mutual, one should be wary of making excuses and rationalizing in one's head all of the reasons why it wouldn't work out. Douches will spill their blog-worthy material within the first 5 minutes of meeting you; no need to draw it out with a committed relationship. The good guys take a little more time. Give them a shot. If it works, it works. If not, if the timing isn't right or if you really aren't looking for the same things, then he'll still be around afterwards as a friend if he's a genuinely good guy. And if not, well then he can just blau me.

  2. I'm not sure if we're ever completely out of the in between. Even when you find that perfect someone you want to spend all your time with, there's always another person out there that you want to be with, simply because the unknown is so much more exciting. It's not always a conscious thought though. Some people see it early on, and others go the rest of their life without realizing it.

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