I don’t know what sparked this thought of mine, but I was wondering, does getting a couples massage mean that you get to have sex in the room afterwards? I have had a couples massage a couple times in my life. Twice with two different boyfriends and once with a girl friend of mine in Malta, a tiny little island off the coast of Italy. Call me a princess, whatever, blau me, but I’ve gotten many massages in my life, and they always give me some time to get dressed and get myself together after the massage but it was never awkward. However, each time I ever got a couples massage, when they’re finished, they always say, “We’ll give you a couple minutes to relax and we’ll be outside waiting when you’re ready.” When I’m ready? When we’re ready? When I’ve been orally satistfied? I don’t get it!
I was in Malta with my friend Ally. We were staying at a nice hotel with a spa and decided that on this little weekend trip of nothingness we would pamper ourselves and get our pampering done together. Sure enough, after I got the girl and my friend got lucky with the big ass dude to massage our backs, we enjoyed wonderful oily massages. Once the hour was done, they were about to leave the room when the woman said, “We’ll give you some time alone together, take your time and whenever you’re ready, come outside.” By the time she and I got our clothing on, hair pinned back and jewelry on, we looked like we had just had wild crazy sex while hanging off a sex swing. Partially because part of the massage consisted of a head massage with oil which made me and her for that matter look like nymphos, but we were both flushed and exhausted. Let me tell you, massages are relaxing but they make you sleepy which could look exactly like the after-sex look.
Needless to say, we walked outside and they had awfully awkward looks on their faces, finally it occurred to me, they thought we were raging lesbians and were giving us time to “do it”…. a couples massage for two hot lesbians is just like the game rocks, paper, sisor-shoot. The rocks for a hot stone massage, the paper that goes on the table underneath you, and the scissor… get it, lesbians?
We laughed the whole way up to the hotel room. Not only are we straight as arrows, we both couldn’t believe the stigma and looks we got just for going in together. I guess when two people get a couples massage, the extra time you’re given at the end is for a quickie… next time I have a couples massage with a boyfriend I will definitely have to utilize my time more wisely.
So wait, the cup of cold water afterward is a refreshment or to help you swallow? (haha, I’m so funny)