Relationships & Dating

Introducing Your Vibrator Into The Bedroom


Vibrators are made for masturbation, and typically thought of as a toy that women use in place of a real sex partner to achieve climax and sexual pleasure. However, there are many women that use their vibrators in the bedroom. In fact, according to a Vibrator Study done by Trojan:

53% of women and 45% of men between the ages of 18 and 60 have used a vibrator during sexual interaction

80% of women who have used a vibrator have used it with their partner

90% of women who have used vibrators agreed that a vibrator use can enhance a woman’s relationship with her partner

I was recently asked to comment on whether or not vibrators as still seen as taboo, and it sparked another topic that needs to be discussed.

It is VERY common for women to use their vibrators in the bedroom. If you look at the statistic above, 80% percent of women who own a vibrator said they’ve used it with their partner and 90% agreed that it would enhance their relationship. Yet, women are still apprehensive about introducing it into the bedroom and some men tend to feel threatened by it.

One girl that I spoke to said she mentioned “using a vibrator with a partner” to her friends and they were shocked that it was even an option!
I know plenty of women who do it, and believe it or not, most men think it’s hot to watch, especially if they can be involved. It’s a matter of introducing it into your bedroom. Some ways that you can use your vibrator with a partner is:
  • allow he or she to use it on you
  • use it to pleasure yourself, while your partner pleasures you otherwise, whether it be kissing or touching you elsewhere.
  • use it during sexual intercourse to enhance the sex, and give you both an opportunity to orgasm, especially simultaneously, which can be difficult, yet wonderful when accomplished.

How do you introduce it? = Communicate

The biggest problem that I find in between couples in the bedroom is a lack of communication.

You ask, “Tell me what you like?” and you get the response, “Whatever you’re doing feels great” rather than telling he or she what you really want. Tell your partner if you use your vibrator, and then ask if they would mind experimenting and using it with you? As my father taught me in life, the worst anyone can say is no, and no is just the beginning. Then bringing your vibrator into the bedroom isn’t awkward because your partner is expecting it. And I’d be willing to bet, they’d be excited too.

It is important for everyone to understand that orgasms are difficult for women to achieve in general; especially since the clitoris is a fickle little body part that is not as predictable as a penis. Playing with it doesn’t always lead to an orgasm every time.
Many women go for years of being sexually active without experiencing an orgasm. Orgasms are especially difficult to achieve through sexual intercourse; thus using a vibrator, which enhances the feeling, and potentially provides both clitoral and/or g-spot stimulation, can make achieving an orgasm easier. Women who have experienced an orgasm during sex, can tell you, while sex without one can be enjoyable, it’s far more pleasurable when you can’t feel your toes and your pulsating.
Some men find it emasculating because its like competition for them. They want to be in control and be the one who causes their partner to orgasm without understanding that it is not always something that a man can control or even a woman.  Men who take the time understand and learn about the female body, understand how hard an orgasm can be to achieve. In essence, they will want their partner to achieve one regardless of what it takes, even if it is the help of a battery operated boyfriend.That’s the fun part of sex is that it’s a two person activity and with an extra “hand” a couple can achieve wonderful sexual pleasure together.
Many guys have the mentality “I’m so good she doesn’t need a vibrator” but it’s not a matter of being “good” it’s a matter of her body. Once a man can understand that, he’s one step closer to making her orgasm. If men only knew how many women fake orgasm, they wouldn’t have that mentality so often. It’s not about pride or ego, it’s about making her reach that state of euphoria by simply working a little body button.
I think vibrators are sometimes seen to be taboo because they’re seen to be sex toys, dirty, slutty, and promiscuous; but at the end of the day, I don’t know a woman who has a “BOB” (Battery Operated Boyfriend) who doesn’t love it….
A great vibrator for every girl to own is TheBodywand, well, the mini one to be exact. It’s sold at Spencer’s as well for $19.99 and comes in a variety of colors. It’s got many different levels of vibrations, and power and its small enough that you can use it alone, or during sex and it won’t be awkward to use like other bigger vibrators, because it fits in the palm of your hand.
I’ll tell you one thing, it takes confidence, comfort and trust to use sex toys, vibrators being one of them with a partner, but If you can get to that level in your relationship, sex can become more than just intercourse, it can become an experimental pleasurable activity for both you and your partner.

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