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10 Tips for Dudes New to Dating


When was the last time you were handed something and just took it without questioning where it came from? Why you’re given it? Or why you should take it?

Subconsciously, you think about these things before accepting something. So why wouldn’t you think about these things before dating someone? It’s all part of a game, a test and a bunch of questions that help you achieve an answer to the question, do we really want to date this person?

I’ve said it many times, and I stand behind the statement that dating is a sport. As much as we all want to deny that we play games, we do.  Moreover, sometimes it’s necessary to play them to some extent, and some have a better chance at winning than others. Just as dating should be easy, and flow naturally, it also takes skill, confidence and many other qualities;  there are also some things that men could do to make them better.

I went on a date not too long ago with a guy who was wonderful but new to the dating scene and really did not know what was expected of him. I admire him because rather than playing stupid, he wanted to impress me and do the right thing, therefore he asked me for advice. While we didn’t continue dating because I knew I wanted to date someone a bit more experienced, I appreciated his eager attitude and have no doubt he’ll make someone very happy. I gave him the following advice and felt the need to write this article for guys in his shoes.

dating-single-parents

10 Dating Tips For Guys New To The Game

(If you like her, read this.)

Make Plans In Advance, Not the Day Of. If you want to take a girl out, don’t assume she’s going to be free just because you are, that’s rude. She has friends, work, family and plans just as you do. It also gives you both something to look forward to. You should also have a plan, call or text her the morning of to confirm and give her an address and time to be there, most women like structure.

If You Invite Her Somewhere, The Bill Is On You. I’m not one of those women who believe that men should pay for everything, but if you invite a girl to dinner, a concert, or a function and you’ve chosen the place and it was your idea to take her out, it is your responsibility to pay for it. Once you start dating for a while it would be appropriate to split the bill, but chivalry is not dead, don’t kill it. Imagine how awkward it would be for her to ask you for money to pay for something. If you can’t afford to take her to dinner, or to an event there are plenty of date ideas that are fun, cheap and simple. You never ask a girl you’re dating for money, she’s not a hooker.

Communicate. This is the most simple rule and yet often the hardest for most men to do. Women like when men listen, and respond appropriately. If a girl asks you a question, or your opinion, don’t be afraid to be opinionated and speak your mind in fear she won’t like what you have to say. She’d most likely appreciate it more than if you simply said, “whatever you want babe.”

There is a Fine Line Between Making Someone Feel Special and Annoying The Shit Out of Them. Everyone has a blackberry or iPhone and is constantly in contact with everyone around them. Ever wonder why people sit on their phones during dinner or when they’re with friends? It’s because they spend so much time talking all day long about everything going on, that when they’re finally face to face there is nothing left to talk about. If you’re dating someone, it’s normal to check in once in a while and see how her day is going or what she’s up to, but constant chatter leaves nothing to discuss when you talk on the phone or see each other in person. Speaking on the phone or in person allows for more voice and facial recognition, which can allow for more of a connection between the two of you. Small talk allows her to know you’re thinking of her, but leave the conversation for face-to-face time.

Never Go Somewhere Empty Handed. I’ve cooked dinner as a date and each time I’ve done that, the guy usually brought me flowers or a bottle of wine for us to share. It’s common courtesy that if you’re invited to her apartment, or to a dinner at her friends or a family members house, never go empty-handed. Bring a dessert, wine or flowers. You can’t go wrong, it shows you have manners and manners leave a great, long-lasting impression. Plus, nothing bad about letting loose with someone you enjoy over a wonderful dinner and a couple of glasses of wine, you may even get lucky.

If You Invite Her, Introduce Her. If you invite a girl with you to a function as a date or even as just a friend, make sure you introduce her. I know many guys worry about introducing her with a title, but guess what? She was given a first name for a reason, use it.

Do Actual Activities Together. When it comes to the first few months of dating it is important to do things together rather than just hanging out at each others apartments and calling it a “date”. You can do many things such as bowling, dinner, movies, sports, working out, take a dog for a walk, go wine tasting, cook or bake together, go for drinks, but do something. Hanging at your apartment or hers may be comfortable but many people don’t understand that when you’re in an intimate setting, it might rush intimacy and rush the relationship. Being sexually involved with someone, and sexually comfortable does not necessarily mean that you’d be comfortable with them when you’re not in an intimate environment. Make sure you are confident that you’re comfortable with them doing activities before you become sexually involved or it may become a hook-up/sex buddy rather than a relationship.

Differentiate Between “Bro-Time” and “Her Time”. When guys first start seeing a girl they often want to spend time with her, but they also want to go out with their boys. It’s that FOMO of not being with the guys anymore. In order to make sure you don’t miss out, it’s very important to differentiate between time with your friends and delegating time for you and her alone. Sure it’s nice to include her at times, such as when you’re going out at night to bars and clubs and what not. However, it’s also important to keep your time with the guys, and give her time for just the two of you as well, trust me, if you do it, she won’t complain. Girls want to feel special, it’s really simple.,

Watch Your Liquor. A guy once took me to a tequila bar on our first date, and I never went out with him again. It shows he was after one thing, to get me drunk. Sorry Charlie, not happening. I know one guy who wouldn’t go out on a date without taking at least 5 shots, unnecessary. A man who can control his liquor is a turn on, no one likes a sloppy, nasty drunk that they need to be responsible for.

She’s Not A Bro, Don’t Treat Her Like One. It’s a great thing if you’re comfortable with a girl and can talk to her whenever about anything, but she still deserves to be treated and spoken to like a lady. You never want to cross the friend line, because often times there is no going back. Make sure you treat her like someone you’d like to date, not like you’d treat one of your friends. It’s a turn off. Women are raised to look for prince charming, we don’t want another frog.

If you question any of these tips, ask your mother, she’ll tell you I’m right. 

If not, Just Blau Me. 

*Most of these tips can go both ways, and be applicable to women as well. However, since I’ve been approached by many guys lately for dating tips, I figured I’d write it more specifically for them.*

5 replies »

  1. Great write-up! Good to know that at least one eligible Boston man is following the rules already.

    Now you just need a similar list for girls to follow.

  2. The last time I was handed something and just took it without questioning where it came from, why I was given it or why I should take it was tonight; a captivatingly beautiful, courageous young woman passed me a note across a table. I accepted. I plan to reward this person sweetly for their good judgment and forwardness. Stay tuned.

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