When it comes to dating, there are many factors that an individual must evaluate:
- Are you ready to date?
- What qualities are you looking for in a partner?
- Are you looking for a partner at all?
When it comes to dating, the biggest mistake most people make aside from not knowing the answers to these questions before they start, is forgetting that vulnerability is a necessity.
If you’re NOT willing to be vulnerable, you’re NOT ready for a relationship at all.
I would be willing to bet that the majority of people don’t even consider vulnerability when they begin dating.
What is being vulnerable anyway?
Vulnerable: an adjective that means you’re susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.
You may read this and wonder, why would I want to make myself susceptible to being hurt, if I don’t have to?
But rather, I suggest you think of vulnerability as a way to gain and create a trust, an emotionally available, caring, and strong relationship with someone who reciprocates.
Remember, a relationship is also a partnership, and when it comes to business, what’s better than a good partner?
In almost all relationships, someone always gets hurt; vulnerability is that secret ingredient in a relationship that makes you susceptible to being hurt in the first place. It is also that secret ingredient that helps you grow.
Remember the days when we used to play dodgeball in gym class or recess as a kid? It was always the kids who were not afraid to pick up the ball and throw it at someone who usually won. They were never afraid to run to the middle of the court to pick up the ball when there were many more people on the other side throwing balls at them.
It was the kid who was willing to take a chance of being hit multiple times, and falling down that always kept playing and eventually won the game. The kids who always stood in the back with their hands over their eyes because they didn’t like the game, and were afraid of being hit, were the kids who always struck out first and never won.
Dating is like dodgeball. You have to be fearless, and expect to fall down. You may get hit, but there will always be another game and you’ll always have another shot at winning. You may even be better at the game the next time you play it. But if you don’t play, like the kids who stood in the back with their hands over their eyes, you won’t get a chance at winning.
When it comes to dating, you have to expect that not every relationship is going to end up happily ever after, and you will get hurt more times than not, you may even hurt someone else, but you’ll be stronger and more intuitive for the next relationship in which you find yourself. You have to play to win, but prepare to lose.
People in their early 20’s come to a point in which they are done being single and want a relationship, but sometimes feel as though they are not ready for one. Girls in their early 20’s are typically more emotionally available and ready to be in a relationship, than guys in their early 20’s.
However, for those of you who find someone who you believe may be worth your time, effort and heart, I suggest, while it may be a challenge, consider getting comfortable being vulnerable because you might miss out on a game worth winning.
While many people think that they’re not ready, maybe the real problem is that they’re just not comfortable being vulnerable. Before you tell yourself you’re not ready for a relationship, maybe consider you’re not ready to risk getting hurt? More importantly, maybe consider that risking a heartbreak, may even lead to finding someone who deserves your heart in the first place.
When it comes to dating, you need to pick up that dodgeball, run to the middle of that court and despite your fear, take a shot; you may strike out the first time, but playing the game is the first step to winning it.
If you want to keep being a sore loser, Just Blau Me.
Categories: Relationships & Dating