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Eating Out: Female Oral Sex


We’re talking about eating out, but we’re not talking about your favorite restaurant.  Eating out is casual way to talk about oral sex/cunnilingus/going down on someone, which is the act of licking the vulva (what is a vulva?). Going down on your partner makes for great foreplay, but it may even be a great way to spice things up in the bedroom by making it the main event of the evening. During my research for this post, I also asked some women about their experiences with oral sex to find out what they enjoyed.

5 Tips For Great Oral Sex:

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1. Be In A Comfortable Position. When you’re about to perform oral sex on your woman you want to make sure you’re comfortable enough to indulge 

completely. Mark Coriddi, author of The Mount Method: a Guide to Pleasuring Women, suggests first establishing a “mount.” Coriddi explains that the mount on a man is located in the area of his upper lip, above his teeth, whereas a woman’s mount is located in a small indent located in the center of her pubic bone. This indent is where a man’s mount should fit into perfectly for maximum clitoral stimulation. When you’re in a comfortable position, you’re less worried about one thing which can make it a more pleasurable experience for both you and your partner. 

2. Don’t Be Afraid To Use Your Hand Or A Toy. Many times men think “oral sex” and they thing they should only use their mouth and all that it encompasses. However, using your hand during oral sex can increase the pleasure and even be more enjoyable. You can use your hands in other places other than her vagina as well. You can grope her breasts, thighs, behind, and tickle, touch and tease her all over her body to enhances her other senses. If you want to try something a bit more adventurous, you can even introduce a toy into the bedroom. 

“My boyfriend slowly inserts his finger into my vagina when he goes down on me, but he doesn’t insert it completely. It is like a tease but it makes me want him more.”


“One guy I used to date did something that I had never felt before, yet it was mind-blowing. He would press his thumb downward into my vagina while I laid on my back, and he went down on me. The pressure was overwhelming in the best way possible, especially since I had never felt that before.”


“Sometimes when we want to spice things up, my boyfriend uses my vibrator on me while he goes down on me. I nearly passed out from the orgasm last time it was so good.”


“I love when a man grabs my thighs, touches my stomach and my breasts while going down on me, it makes me less self-conscious because I know I’m turning him on just laying there.”

3. Warm Up. Foreplay is an important part of sexual intercourse and often one that is overlooked. Men and women, but particularly women require some warm up time to become sexually aroused in order to create pain-free intercourse, and possibly even reach orgasm. The more revved a woman’s engine is, the more lubricated she becomes, thus allowing for more comfortable and more satisfying intercourse for both partners. Also, the more warmed up or “turned on” a woman is, the better her chances of reaching a climactic point. 

“When a guy goes down on me before sex, I’m naturally that much more wet before we have sex making it that much better when we do.”

“I can’t orgasm from anything but sex (intercourse) and it doesn’t happen every time. But when my partner goes down on me before we do it, it makes my chances at orgasming during sex even better.”

4. Communicate. People have a tendency to think talking in the bedroom is cheesy, or they may simply not be comfortable enough for it. However, great sex requires great communication. If you’re not sure what your partner likes, ask, the worst thing that can happen is they don’t say anything, and then you’re forced to go in blind and use your judgement to find out what they like.

If you don’t want to be stuck with the typical situation of “does this feel good?” and she responds, “yes, so good.” Try asking questions that don’t require a yes or no answer. Maybe ask “tell me what you like” and ask for specifics, or take her hand and say “show me what you like.” This will ensure that you get a response, maybe not a verbal one, but it will give you a bit more insight than you started with. 

“When my boyfriend and I started dating he used to ask me what I liked, and I was a little nervous to say it out loud so instead I took his hand and showed him exactly how I like it.”

5. Pressure Isn’t A Bad Thing. The vagina is filled with nerve endings so it is quite sensitive, although some women are more sensitive than others. Some women you can lightly caress and they’re automatically aroused, whereas some women enjoy or need a bit of pressure. Blowing, kissing, nibbling, and sucking may sound quite intimidating but when done carefully, and with the right communication they can be quite pleasurable.  Don’t be scared to experiment when it comes to oral sex, that’s part of the whole experience. Consider the fact that no two people are alike, so all people must have different preferences. Therefore, through experimentation and communication can you learn what those preferences are. 

“Once a guy used his chin to put pressure on my clitoris and he moved his chin back and forth which led me straight to an orgasm.” 

“The guy I was hooking up with always switched up the way he went down on me. One minute he’d move his tongue fast, and then slow it down but apply pressure with his lips and tongue to my clitoris and around it. It was like he was licking an ice pop. The different types of stimulation was mind-blowing, and it never got boring.

“I always thought nibbling would be awful, but a guy once did it to me, gently of course and it felt really good.”

Now, what NOT to do!

  • Be aware that the urethral opening is within the vulva, right before the vaginal opening. Sometimes, licking this area can cause pain when peeing, pain during oral sex or can sometimes cause the person to get a urinary tract infection. Over stimulating this area can also make for a very uncomfortable sexual experience for your partner. If you aren’t familiar with what a vagina looks like, or what the inside looks like, do some homework!
  • Don’t do anything that hurts.  Sex is all about communicating. Half of it is communicating with your mouths, and half is communicating with your body. If it hurts, or if someone tells you that something you’re doing hurts them, stop. Of course, there is consensual pain that causes pleasure, but that’s another story! 
  • Don’t always assume that what you see in porn is what people want in reality. Spitting, hitting, tapping, and sucking are things that people often see in porn but are not necessarily something that would turn someone on in the bedroom. It’s not to say that it wouldn’t be arousing, but it is definitely a conversation before acting.

Glad You Came

Read more:

Sensitive Vagina: Painless Cunnilingus

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