I wrote an article, 10 Tips For Dudes New To Dating and it got really great reviews. So much so, that my male readers requested that I write one for women!
It seems that many men, especially in NYC are frustrated when it comes to dating. Women go on dates and expect to be treated as Queens even when their behavior doesn’t even deserve it.
Women want respect, but we also must learn, we get what we give, right?
I asked my male readers for dating tips for women…
Here are their top 10 complaints:
- Don’t ask “what are you thinking right now?” According to guys, rather than asking them what’s on their mind or what their thinking, talk about something else, ask a question. I mean, really, do you really want him to tell you what he’s thinking? It could potentially be so awkward.
- Don’t be on your phone. It’s common courtesy and manners to stay off your phone on a date. You’re supposed to be out with this person to learn more about them and enjoy your time together, not with the people on your Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and texts messages. If you need to be on your phone during the date with this person, you probably shouldn’t go on another one.
- Don’t sleep with him on the first date. All men will tell you, if you sleep with a guy on the first date, he’ll think if she’ll sleep with me on the first date, how many other guys will she sleep with on the first date too? You don’t want that reputation, and remember, nothing good comes easy. Make him work for it, he’ll enjoy it and it’ll make things more appreciated in your relationship. If you sleep with him that night, don’t be surprised if he’s contacting you late night, and stops asking you on dates.
- Make the initiative for dates. The first date or two should definitely be initiated by the guy. After that, don’t be afraid to let him know you’re thinking of him and would like to see him again. Obviously don’t be up his ass, but remember, all men really want is to feel needed and cared for.
- Keep eye contact. Anything longer than 30 seconds can begin to feel a bit creepy, but eye contact allows two people to establish an unspoken connection and a rapport with one another. I always say, it’s important to find someone to enjoy silence with, don’t be afraid to enjoy it.
- EAT dammit! Dear women all over the world, yes, we want to keep our figures tight, lean and healthy, but that does not mean you go on a dinner date with a man and not eat. That’s weird and a waste of money. If you’re one of those chicks who doesn’t like to eat in front of people, that’s fine, then suggest drinks or an activity so you can both enjoy the time together.
- Be honest about what you’re looking for. One of the biggest mistakes women make is lying about what we want out of relationships. If you want something serious, don’t be afraid to say that is what you’re looking for, or vice versa if you want something strictly casual. Sure, it may not come up in the first or second date, but make sure you discuss what you’re looking for so you don’t get your feelings hurt, or hurt his.
- Watch what you wear. There is a difference between looking sexy and looking like a slut. You don’t need to wear little to nothing to make him want to take your clothes off. Mystery is a wonderful thing, let him wonder what you have on underneath.
- Don’t talk about past relationships. He doesn’t want to hear about your ex, just as you don’t ever want to hear about his. If you’re still talking about ex’s on the first date, you’re probably not over them.
Finally: OFFER TO PAY
So many men came to me and explained that 8 out of 10 dates, women don’t even reach for their wallet. Insane.
Just because you’re the women and he should court you and treat you to dinner, that does not mean that you just sit there, twiddle your thumbs and expect him to pick up the tab. In this day and age, everyone men and women included are working their asses off to create a stable future for themselves, so remember that money does NOT grow on trees.
I would venture to say most men won’t let you pay, but offering to will make them respect and appreciate you that much more.