Random Relationships & Dating

10 Confidence Boosting Commandments For Women

It is without question that female and male priorities differ dramatically in the game of life. Men are undoubtedly more self-interested as they feel the need to become successful as individuals before they can take care of a woman and a family. Women, on the other hand have a tendency to forget the importance of self, and instead put their significant others’ interests  before their own as a result of maternal instinct to nurture and take care of loved ones.

Women may put men before themselves, but it is without doubt that a man would prefer, and moreover be more attracted to a woman who is self-sufficient, confident and self-interested, rather than one who is all about him.

I recently gave a pep-talk to a couple of women on how to be more self-interested. They were so enlightened by my suggestions and explained that once they implemented them into their own lives, they began to feel better and even carry themselves differently.

One of the women explained,

Your commandments helped me to realize that feeling sexy begins with myself.”

Confidence is something many people are brought up with, but it’s also something that many people can learn and acquire.

10 Confidence Boosting Commandments

1. Be Prepared Always. 

Being prepared means being self-sufficient and therefore always down for anything. Ready when you are, because you don’t need help from anyone else. Up for a challenge, or ready to just sit back, relax and enjoy the little things that life has to offer.

2. Don’t Play Stupid.

It’s one thing to play games in the world of dating. I’d love to say we shouldn’t but truth of the matter is, men respond most to “Push-Pull,” but it’s also imperative that we don’t play stupid. Some women act silly, ditzy, or just plain incompetent of everyday responsibilities. Women have a tendency to act stupid or needy in order to make a man feel more powerful or manly. But not many men think that’s cute. The smarter and more independent a man thinks you are, the more he’ll want you.


3. Wear Heels.

Some women don’t appreciate heels. ‘m not saying that women can’t be sexy without them. There are few things hotter than a woman in biker boots. However, heels undoubtedly make women look sexy, and sometimes when the time is right, or when in need of a jaw-dropping moment, throwing on a pair of heels can make you feel like you’re on top of the world. When it comes to walking in heels, I always tell women to walk like you have a quarter in between your ass cheeks, it enhances your posture and makes you look confident, even when you’re lacking it a bit.


One woman responded,

Wearing heels always gives me confidence. Sure you may be more comfortable romping around the city in your gladiator flats, but if wearing a sexy heel helps you get noticed by your next boyfriend, it is worth the sacrifice. Heels make your legs look longer, and thinner. You’re already making the effort to put on your makeup and go out on a saturday night. Why not elevate yourself as much as possible? Why not put in that extra effort of wearing heels to be the hottest you?

4. Take Care Of Your Lips. 

I’m talking about both sets, the ones on your face and the ones down below. Did you know that women wore red lipstick in the old days to look sexy because it resembles your vagina lips when turned on and their engorged with blood. If you want a man to pleasure your lips, and I mean both sets, make sure to take good care of them. Don’t share lipsticks, chap stick, or cigarettes and other smoking devices; It’s important to be wary in general about what you share with other people, as you don’t know where their mouths have been. Also, make sure to book a yearly appointment with the Gynecologist to make sure your other lady lips are in great shape too. Don’t be afraid to ask her how they look, I love when mine tells me they’re perfect. 


Want to exfoliate your lips (on your face) to keep them smooth?

Mix a teaspoon of brown sugar with a teaspoon of honey and use it as a scrub. It’s all natural, tastes yummy and will do wonders for dry chapped lips. Some people even add a little olive oil as a moisturizer, and glossy look.


5. Carry Condoms. 

I will never understand why protection is something that men are expected to provide. Safe sex is both the man and woman’s responsibility, it’s not one-sided. If you’re dating someone, or going out and think there is a possibility of sleeping with someone, make sure to carry a condom in your pocketbook. Rather be safe, than sorry.

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6. Love Yourself First. 

Don’t be afraid to masturbate. So many women never explore self love and sex because they don’t know where to begin. I’m a firm believer in “You can’t expect a man to know how to please you 100% if you don’t know how to please you 100% either.” If you’re not comfortable using a vibrator, try laying down and experimenting with what feels good! You may be surprised by how great you can feel all by yourself.

7. Give A Firm Handshake.

 There is something undeniably sexy about a woman who gives a firm handshake. It shows that you’re assertive, strong, and business savvy, most importantly it shows that you exude confidence. I even wrote, “What A Handshake Says About You” because men constantly comment on my handshake and how so many women do not know how to appropriately shake hands. Why be like everyone else, when you can stand out and be different?


8. Eye Contact.

There’s nothing like a good eye-fuck, I’d be willing to bet that if you can master the sexy eye gaze, you can pick up any man in a bar. In fact, 30 seconds of staring into someone’s eyes is all it takes to establish a rapport amongst the two of you. Ever walk past a man on the street and want to talk to him, but you can’t find your balls? Try establishing eye contact with him, it will express interest and put the ball in his court to approach you if the feeling is mutual. Eye contact also often comes with a smile, and once you’re both smiling at each other, who cares who says “hi” first. Eye contact is important in all relationships as it shows mutual interest, listening and respect.

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9. Wear Lingerie For You. 

It’s important to understand that you don’t need to wear a little amount of clothing to be noticed for your sexiness. I often tell women to wear lingerie, or at least a sexy pair of underwear and a bra when you’re going out. Even if you end up home alone, you feel sexy being you, which is the first step to being super confident. Sure, wear a blouse and jeans, and your lingerie may be underneath, but you knowing that it’s under there will allow you to exude confidence and make others wonder what’s going on under your clothes. Every many likes a mystery, can’t deny that.


10. Smell Good Dammit. 

If you like perfume, wear it when you go out. It’ll give you reassurance that you smell great, and can actually attract people to your smell. Either they’ll like your pheromones  your perfume, or the way the two mix together, but it does in fact cause attraction. Even if you don’t like perfume, or you’re allergic to it, make sure your hygiene is something very important to you.

Related Articles:

What A Handshake Says About You

Pheromones Stink: Do They Affect Attraction?


  1. Amazing blog Carli! U just made me love myself again and remember to put my self first ! I felt like I lost my self after having my baby biy who is 20 months old now! Thanks xoxo

    1. Melissa, I am so happy to hear that you’re feeling great and happier than ever. You deserve nothing less! Keep loving yourself, and love from others will come along with it. Wishing you the best with your baby boy!!


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