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The Backfire of Waiting


It seems as thought waiting to have sex with someone isn’t something that many 20-something year olds do now a days. It used to be,

Don’t sleep with someone right away because they won’t take you seriously!

But now more and more people are falling into relationships from one night stands and casual late-night hook ups becoming steady partners. There are people who still wait to have sex with someone they like in order to gain respect, and build an emotionally strong relationship before taking part in a sexual one. But the question is, does waiting actually backfire?

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Many people who wait to sleep with someone they are dating and enjoy romantically are frustrated with the repercussions of doing the “right thing.”

Think about it like this: You meet someone, you hit it off, and you start dating. The two of you have chemistry that is undeniable. There is constant laughter, and you’re nothing but yourself with this person every time you spend time together. Each date ends with a long and hard make-out session and you consistently want more but you hold back because of many reasons, the most important one being that you want respect and you’re also not sure where you want this go.

So, you wait patiently until you know, right?

After the 4th, 5th, and maybe even 6th date and maybe some foreplay, you realize that you may actually see something progressing with this individual. You may even back away a little and gain your space because you’re not quite sure of where you see this going or where you want it to go.

Then one day it hits you like a brick on the head, you like this person and you’re ready to take it to the next level. So, after waiting for all of the right reasons, you get intimate and BOOM they run like Forest Gump.

Sound familiar?

Waiting to sleep with someone requires mutual respect; it also proves that you like each other enough to take it to that next level because you enjoy each other in every way and not just sexually. This is key when it comes to differentiating between a fuck-buddy and someone you can be in a relationship with. A fuck buddy you enjoy solely for sexual needs and desires, and a relationship is with someone who enjoy in many ways not just sexually.  The time you spend not sleeping with each other is spent getting to know one another emotionally bringing you closer and closer.

When you finally sleep together, it’s like all of this pent-up pressure is released and as soon as the wait is over, the pressure is no longer on sleeping together but on your relationship and what it is.

No one likes to be pressured into anything; it causes anxiety, which is why despite the time they waited, and emotional investments they’ve made, many people run the opposite direction, than towards being with the person they just spent so much time and effort on getting to know, care about and appreciate.

Waiting to have sex with someone should be something we do because we want to, not because it keeps the relationship mysterious. People have a tendency to wait because it keeps the other person coming back for more, wondering what it will be like when it happens.

When it comes to SEX, don’t wait for timing, or someone else, sex should be something you do for you, because YOU want to do it.

When it is right, the person that you decide to have sex with will not run away, and they may not even get closer to you, but maybe, just maybe they’ll walk in the right direction with you.

Don’t run, stop and enjoy what you have in front of you, or Just Blau Me. 

shadow-love

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