Everyone thinks they’ve been in love and truthfully, everyone may have been at some point.I was in love when I was in Kindergarten with a boy named Derek. We were so madly in love that he actually took his mom’s engagement ring from her jewelry box and gave it to me on my 6th birthday. Not until my mother called his mother did she realize that it was missing, or that a cute little munchkin was walking around with it. It’s a good thing I’m quite responsible and always appreciate gifts from men.
Every single time I’ve fallen in love, I swore it would be my last, and every time it ended I learned something from it. I’ve learned a lot from falling, breaking and putting myself back together and I figured I’d share these things with the rest of the world who is in love, will be or has been.
Every time feels like it never did before. Falling in love is unique to each person that you experience it with because you love that person based upon their unique qualities that no other person has. Love is something that seems to get more intense each time it happens. Most people question love and what it really feels like to be “in it” because every time you fall, it seems as though you fall harder than you did last time.
Love distorts reality. It’s very scary to think that an emotion has the power to make us enter a different realm that we actually live in. When our emotions are so strong, we become so attached and invested in our partner that we tend to get wrapped up in what we feel is happening, rather than what is actually happening. Often times couples get so caught up in what they want to be, and what they want to have, that they fail to recognize the big picture. It is possible to fall in love with someone who isn’t right for you, which makes defining being in love more difficult to do.
Lust is NOT Love. Sexual chemistry has a lot to do with attraction and the connection you have with someone, but it doesn’t create love. You may have great sex with someone you feel strong feelings for, but just because you have passionate sex with them doesn’t mean it is love. This often confuses people because the sexual chemistry is mistaken for love, and therefore comes with unrealistic expectations of your relationship.
It gives you as much strength as it makes you feel weak. One of the craziest parts about being in love is that your feelings are no longer only yours, they become someone else’s as well. Your happiness makes the other person happy, and your sadness can destroy them. When we’re in love, we gain strength from our partner but we also become more vulnerable than ever before because our happiness is no longer solely dependent on us as individuals. Our heart, mind and feelings are not only our own responsibility but now shared whole-heartedly with someone else.
Everything in love isn’t equal. Being in love also comes with the expectation that all feelings are always shared. However, we’re still individuals and as much as our partners emotions do affect us because we care about them so much, we all deal with things differently based upon our background, and previous life experiences.
There was life before you. Everyone comes with a past, it’s part of the baggage. Falling in love with someone means accepting them for all that they are, whether you agree with it or not. Every moment in our lives molds us to be who we are, and how we fall in love, and how we actually love people and show it. It’s important to understand that people show love differently and just because they do, doesn’t make it any less meaningful. Understanding that everyone shows love differently is one of the hardest things to do.
It just happens. People are so crazed about finding love, futures, getting married, monogamy and everything else that seems so wonderful about it all, that we have a tendency to try to find love in the wrong places. Falling in love is not something you plan, and if it’s true,and right, you won’t even know it’s happening until you feel it in your heart.
It really hurts. It has been found that people who suffer from heart-break, actually feel such pain in their hearts from the anxiety and according to an article from Scientific American,
“When we feel heartache, for example, we are experiencing a blend of emotional stress and the stress-induced sensations in our chest— muscle tightness, increased heart rate, abnormal stomach activity and shortness of breath. In fact, emotional pain involves the same brain regions as physical pain, suggesting the two are inextricably connected.”
Letting go of love right now, doesn’t mean losing it forever. I know it’s quite a crazy thing to just trust in the universe we live in, but there is something that leads me to believe in the statement, “if you love something, let it go and if it’s real, it will come back.”
Timing is everything. Part of being in love means just being patient and letting it happen on its own. Falling in love means trusting in that it will bring a greater good and growth rather that hold you back in life. Two people with the potential to fall in love can make or break their relationship solely based on the timing they fall; both people need to be ready for the responsibility.
Real love never dies. You may fall out of love with someone, but when you’ve truly been in love, you’ll always have a spot in your heart for the people who you’ve felt that strong of an emotion for. Being in love is like an invisible tattoo on your heart; it may fade over time, but there was a reason you got it in the first place and it will be with you forever.