Rejection is something that many people have a hard time dealing with. When it comes to dating and relationships, rejection is arduous. It takes a big hit at your heart, confidence and self-esteem, which are things that aren’t easy to acquire to begin with. However, who said this is such a bad thing?
As a dating coach, many times my clients are fearful of approaching someone in person when he or she is interested in them. I totally understand this because quite frankly it’s not easy to do. So, I often suggest that my clients go onto online dating sites such as OkCupid.com, Jdate.com, Tinder and of course the new and improved App Hinge in order to meet people.
Sure, you don’t always physically meet people through these sites but you’ll most likely get rejected more times that you will get a response that you like. With Tinder for example, the average person will get 1 “like” back for every 25 people they “like” themselves because we do not always attract the same type of people who we’re attracted to.
Messaging and “liking” people on dating websites also helps people deal with their fear of rejection because it forces people to become more accustomed to it. Dating websites were wonderful when they first came out because not everyone was on them. However, nowadays dating websites aren’t just used for people who are interested in finding serious committed romantic relationships, many people today use dating websites for sexual encounters. This causes difficulty for those who want to find their soul mates in the webisphere.
I suggest that my clients, both male and female, read other profiles and take the initiative to message people who they are interested in.
Many times they will not get a response, but this rejection only makes the client stronger by making the initial contact with someone of interest less intimidating.
Remember: Confidence is everything… especially when you’re single and dating.
Think of dating as trading something very important. We are basically selling ourselves, hoping that someone finds us intriguing enough to buy into it and continue to invest in us time and time again. Think of Interest as the monetary value in dating, as intimacy and affection is the monetary value in love.
It is important to keep in mind that approaching someone from behind our computer screen is most certainly a lot easier to do than approaching someone in person, but that’s the beauty of it. Once a person has become a bit more accustomed to being rejected, they won’t take it so personally, and most importantly won’t be discouraged each time they attempt to approach someone in the future.
Like my father taught me, “NO is just the beginning!”
If you ask someone out, and you really think that you have interests in common, or may simply have a wonderful time together, do not let their “no” discourage you from asking them out again. Persistence is key in dating, this goes for both men and women.
Love rejection, don’t hate it or Just Blau Me.
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